Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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