It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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