Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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