The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
