Sry I called you an 8
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can't put those talents on a resume
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
