I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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