You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
