kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
