I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
