She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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