There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
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I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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