i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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