I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
