At least make sure they are 18
Why
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
