great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
