...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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