Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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