I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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