What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My life is pants optional.
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