i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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