I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
