dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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