I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
