Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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