At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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