Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
