I love black thongs
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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