dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
