As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
