the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
