walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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