she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you didnt know i had herpes?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
