I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Randomize
