My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
