before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
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I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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