I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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