He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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