she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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