So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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