nutella sex= disaster
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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