I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
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The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
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Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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