Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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