I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize