Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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