Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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