How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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