I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
