And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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