She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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