It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
