I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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