He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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