Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
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I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
im on a boat
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