Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
