TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
