at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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