He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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