your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
