Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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