if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
